When You are Faced With Failure

Standard

Remember, you have only failed when you give up, so you have not yet failed if you do not give up.  You still need to know what to do when you are faced with failure.  It takes a lot of courage to look failure in the eye and decide to carry on anyway.  “Blips” or “hiccoughs” along the way happen to everyone, even the most successful people.  Success is waiting the other side of these perceived failures.  You need to know how to use seemingly negative circumstances to your advantage.

 

What is Failure?

It is a good thing to get a definition of what failure means for you, in your mind.  It should change the way you look at it, and help you put it into perspective.  Most people consider failure to be when their outcome was worse, or the opposite of what they had intended.  Failure is always a result of something.  There is never a result without a cause.  Failure usually occurs in only one facet of the outcome, it is seldom all-inclusive.  What this means is that something you did or tried, needs changing to produce a different outcome, more in line with what you want.    It means there are still things to learn and space to grow.  It should never mean that there is no hope.  Failure is never intentional, but it happens.  We cannot know all the facets of every situations or thing.   We can never know and understand everything.  We need to be constantly learning, improving and growing.  Failure just points out another area for potential growth and development.

 

Use the Energy of Anger and Hurt Positively

Your immediate reaction when you are faced with failure, is probably a mixture of anger and hurt, especially when adverse comments and criticism are added to the equation.  These emotions produce a tremendous amount of energy.  You know how your muscles tense, your breathing and heartbeat increase, your thoughts run at a mile a minute, you are totally focused, you cannot even think of anything else.  Instead of fuming, rehearsing the problem, bewailing the unfairness, thinking of vengeance or speaking your mind to everyone, use that energy to focus and brainstorm new ideas.  You will be surprised how sharp your mind is when it comes to avoiding pain.  You will get new ideas.  Think of things YOU can do.  Look for positive ideas, not retribution.  Make sure you write all your thoughts down.  These will give you a good start in rectifying the situation and starting over.

 

Take Stock

When you are faced with failure, always take responsibility for what happened.  Go through each step of the events.  Take note of the things you did right as well as the things you might have done wrong.  Try and pinpoint the thing that caused your adverse outcome.  See what can be salvaged and what should be shelved or changed.  Few things are total failures, note the things you did do right and build on them.

 

Strong Mental Character Will Always Come Back From Failure

You need to know your identity is not in failure, you are far more than that.  Once you have worked it out and come through the other side of failure, you will always be stronger, you will also have grown and developed character.  You will understand yourself and your situation better, your coping skills would have improved.  It takes a strong character to risk failure, try anyway and take responsibility for the results.

 

Conclusion

Failure need never be final.  When you face it responsibly it will turn into a very dynamic opportunity for growth, new ideas and change.  You will find yourself less critical and more sympathetic of others facing problems and you will discover new ways of promoting yourself and serving others. When you are faced with failure, use the situations as stepping stones on your road to the future you desire.

I am being coached by a millionaire, you can be too.

Advertisements

Channel the Power of Fear For Your Advantage

Standard

Fear is one of the most powerful emotions you can experience.  Fear often causes you to act in irrational and self-limiting ways.  Everybody experiences fear, but most people are unable to control or use their fear to achieve their desires.  You can learn the ability to channel the power of fear for your advantage.  You can look at your fear as either a roadblock or a compass. Fear can crush your potential or create new ways forward.  The choice is always yours.

 

Causes of Fear

Life is a journey, circumstances are continually changing.  The most common cause of fear is the dislike of change, being made uncomfortable or being challenged. Fear is always “self-imposed”.  It comes from how you experience and look at circumstances.  YOU have everything to do with what you fear.  Fear is most commonly experienced when you are faced with unknown circumstances and are forced to do new and different things, you have to make new decisions and figure out ways of dealing with a situation.  You experience fear when you cannot feel certain of the outcome.  Your biggest battles in life are often between taking experimental, innovative challenges and sticking to the known, tried and tested things that work for you.  These are “forks in the road of life” where you have to make a choice.  There is always an element of risk when stepping into unknown territory.

 

Dealing with Fear

There are several ways you instinctively deal with fear.  You can

  • escape it
  • run from it
  • deny it
  • ignore it
  • fight back
  • give up.

These instinctive reactions are subconscious and relate to life preservation or escaping from pain.  Your subconscious mind instantly reminds you of similar past circumstances and outcomes and tries to prevent you experiencing the same results.  Your subconscious always deals with the past.  It only has past memories to work with.  It is never innovative or rational.

 

Instead, it is possible to deal with fears in a different more empowering way.  You still need to

  • recognize it,
  • acknowledge it,
  • dig into its causes and
  • analyze what the fear is telling you about yourself and your circumstances.
  • Then, use fear to find new ways to face your problems, grow and overcome them.

When you deal with fear positively, you look past fear to create your future dreams, you are looking to ways of overcoming instead of escaping.  It takes courage, mental strength, self-control, passion and determination, but it is 100% worth it.  There are few experiences like the “high” from having overcome a fear.

 

Fear is Strengthened by not Dealing with it

When you deny or escape your fear, you might suppress it for a while, but it will fester inside you and actually develop and grow into something larger.  When you try to remind or reassure the voice in your head that you have nothing to fear, that all will be well, you actually reinforce the fear.  If not dealt with, the fear will become a “giant” in your head.  It will be even more difficult to confront the next time you encounter the same fear.  Suppressing fear can never give you courage.  Denying the presence of fear prevents you thinking constructively.  Anything that prevents you thinking will also prevent you from reaching your goals in life.  Your brain will be denied the exercise of working things out.

 

Fear Creates Opportunity

The emotion of fear is packed full of energy and focus.  Your brain becomes completely focused.  Oxygen levels are raised in your blood, you are at peak alert, ready to deal with anything.  All these aspects of fear could be channeled to solving your problem instead of wasting the opportunity to find new or better ways of doing things.

 

 

Neutralizing Fear

The most important steps to neutralize fear are to acknowledge it, analyze it and face it.  Find out what went wrong, then make the necessary changes or adjustments. Look at all the aspects and brainstorm your way forward.  Be brave enough to put your new ideas into action and make empowering decisions to move forward past your fear.

 

Conclusion:

People who have overcome fear are well aware of the fears they faced.  You can only overcome fear by confronting it and de-demonizing it.   It is seldom as bad as it feels, and there are always answers. Let your fear become a compass instead of a barrier. Fear can become a way of finding out what to do next, not an evil demon to be extinguished.  Fear is often the motivating force needed to stimulate growth in your life.  Always channel the power of fear for your advantage.

I am being mentored by a millionaire, you can be too.

Dealing with Difficult People

Standard

Everybody knows and has to deal with difficult people at times.  Don’t allow them to spoil your day or your future.  Stop thinking about them as your enemy to be avoided, instead, use your encounters with them to learn more about yourself and grow.   Think differently about difficult people, turn your focus off them and onto yourself.  Dealing with difficult people can turn out to be interesting and even fun.

 

People are not “Born Difficult”

Something has happened in a person’s life to make them difficult.  You are seeing the result of past experiences in the difficult person.  They may just be having a hard day, or they might have learned to tackle life in that way because of many previous hurts.  You do not know and cannot assume the reasons.  You know yourself, when you have a big problem on your mind, you do not like people interrupting you.  A lot of perceived difficulty is due to the emotions being experienced at the time.

 

How You Look at Difficult People Speaks More about You than About Them

Your reaction to difficult people comes from inside you.  If you react to them like they were your enemy, you are likely to react in an aggressive or defensive way.  This will never defuse any situation.  Look beyond their attitude of “being difficult”, and see the “person” behind the attitude.  Attitudes are made up of emotions which cause people to act in certain ways.  Judging or labeling people actually speaks of your attitude, not theirs.  Difficult people are merely a signal that you need to change your approach.

 

Be Intrigued by Difficult People

Difficult people are interesting.  Never be put off by an attitude.  Probe a little deeper.

Half the battle for understanding difficult people is to find out where they are “coming from”.  There is something in their experience of life that has made the way they react a viable approach to life for them.  Nothing happens without a cause.  Where you are now is the result of what you have experienced, thought and done in the past.  Difficult people usually have unresolved issues in their lives.  They have learned to satisfy their need for self worth through the way they interact with others.  Maybe you are just the person to be able to help them understand themselves and resolve their issues.

 

Control Yourself

It is easy to reply in kind when someone is rude or offensive.  Check your own reactions and thoughts, they tell a lot about where you are coming from, your identity, security levels and beliefs.  Allow some space before reacting.  Use the time to reflect, cool down and take control over your thoughts.  When you control your thoughts, you will also control the situation.  Be tolerant, calm and reciprocate with kindness, love and understanding, even if you do not agree.  The old adage, “Hurting people hurt people”, is very true.  Most difficult people are hurt and lonely people who do not know how to reach out to others.

 

Quick Tips to Defuse Difficult Situations

  • Create rapport with the person by listening intently to them and taking them seriously.
  • Be open to consider the validity of their opinion
  • Find commonality in your goals.  Maybe you both have the same concerns but are approaching them in different ways.  Find the intention behind their opinion.
  • Discover some point of agreement, appreciation or respect that you can use as a starting point, even if it is only agreeing that they have the right to their own opinion.  Agreements create immediate bonds.
  • Adapt to the situation.  Be prepared to use a different approach if necessary.  Most importantly, be flexible, play it by ear as the encounter progresses.
  • Avoid resistance at all costs, there is never real conflict without resistance.

Conclusion

Face the challenge of communicating and dealing with difficult people.  When you think about it, ideas will come up and you will find ways to solve any issues.  Be in charge of your thoughts and constantly looking for ways to work out solutions agreeable to both of you.  Challenge is growth, so it is good for your development.  Never run from a problem, face it.  Difficult people provide more opportunities for growth for you than people who are easy to get along with.  You will increase your understanding of yourself and will improve your communication skills.

I am being mentored by a millionaire, you can be too.

You are Always Producing Results: Part 3

Standard

Your Body and Mind Are Connected Intimately

 

Whatever you are thinking, especially thoughts that affect your emotions, will be clearly reflected in your body whether you realize it or not.  Your body and mind are so intimately connected that whatever happens in the one will affect the other all the time.  Using this knowledge, you can produce even greater focus to what you are thinking.  Your thoughts are your ultimate control button.  Learn to use your thoughts to correct your body’s response to feelings.  You are always producing results, but you can have control over the results you produce.

 

You CAN Control Your Body

You have just as much power and right to take control of your body as you can of your mind.  Your body should never rule the real “you”.  Your body and its cravings or desires, is not the real “you”.  You live in your body, but you should be in control.  You should decide what your body needs, how it feels and how it should act.  Most people have just learned to respond instinctively, without thinking, to whatever comes their way.   You can be different.

 

Body Language is Visible for Everybody

You can look at someone and come to the conclusion: “He is happy, she is excited, she is depressed, he is in a bad mood”, etc.  It is easy to “read” people even if they do not say a word and you may not know them, the automatic response of their body to their inner emotions, gives them away.  Everybody expresses their thoughts and emotions through their bodies.  These reactions of your body come from your subconscious mind, you cannot control them unless you become aware of them, then consciously decide to respond in a different way.

 

Think About How Your Body Responds

When you get angry, elated, depressed, motivated, happy etc, how does your body respond to your thoughts and emotions?  You must be aware that your body does different things in each situation.  Your body is wired to respond closely to your thoughts and emotions.  Stop and think of how your body responds to each of the above emotions.  Act out each response, and you will find that your mind will respond by feeling those very emotions.  Usually your thoughts are the trigger to your body language.  You can reverse it by consciously acting as if you are feeling a positive emotion, and your brain will back you up with the corresponding emotions.  This is true even if you do not feel the wanted emotion before the exercise.  This gives you two-way control.  You can change your body language to fit the emotion you want to feel.  This is a very powerful thing and can make an enormous difference to your success. Your emotions need never control you again.

 

Your Brain Follows Your Actions

It has been shown that certain invigorating actions produce positive electronic responses in your nervous system.  Things like laughing make your body produce chemicals which produce feelings of well-being and even healing.  When you smile, you use many facial muscles, these increase the blood supply to your brain, helping you to be more alert and responsive.  You cannot continue feeling depressed when you lift your head and your arms, look up, breathe deeply, take a brisk walk, dance or exercise.  Deep breathing in particular, increases the oxygen supply to your brain and helps you become more alert.  You can break emotional moods with specific counter-actions.

 

Care for Your Body

If you do not care for your body, it will never be able to function at its best.  Make sure you get enough exercise, sleep and nutritional food.  Diet is very important if you want to feel your best.  Avoid fatty, refined foods, eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, never eat large quantities of meat.  Eat small amounts regularly, drink plenty of fluids and you will be well on your way.

 

Conclusion

Now it is over to you.  Do you want to change your present experience of life?  You have a lot of workable options to make a difference to your outcomes.  Everything is tied up with your thinking, but your body plays a big role in achieving the life and reaching the goals you desire.  Change some of the things you have been thinking and doing and you will soon see a big difference in your life because you are always producing results.

I am being mentored by a millionaire, you can be too.

You Are Always Producing Results: Part 2

Standard

Controlling Your Thoughts

Your mind is the door to your soul and controls everything you experience.  Your life is a progressive journey, whatever happens today produces the results that sum up your life experience tomorrow.  Whatever you allow to enter your mind, will have some affect on your life.  It is possible to learn to control your thoughts to help make sure that the results that are being produced, are the ones you want.  You have authority over your mind, but you have to take authority or your subconscious mind will rule you.

 

 You CAN Control Your Thoughts

The biggest mistake most people make is assuming that you have no control over your thoughts.  Very few people learn that controlling your thoughts is THE key ingredient to building the future you desire.    Your mind is the most interesting part of you.  It contains the “real you”, the components, beliefs, ideals, personality, way of looking at things etc that makes you unique.  It is well worth delving into your mind to “discover” yourself.  Ideas and changes always begin with a focused thought.  To take control of your thinking, you need to start by monitoring, focusing then purposefully directing your thoughts.

 

Below are a few pointers that will help you begin controlling your mind.

 

Capture Your Thoughts

“Catch” yourself in the act of thinking, teach yourself to learn the habit of checking your thoughts.  Ask yourself some pertinent questions about what you are thinking.  Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

  • Where did this thought come from?
  • Where is this thought leading me?
  • What is this thought suggesting I do?
  • Is it something useful to me?
  • Do I agree with the belief this thought implies?

If you have never tried to “capture your thoughts”, or tried to control them in any way, then they probably run rampant.  Uncontrolled thoughts flit from one thing to the next, picking up fragments of information from all over the place.  Your mind will be undisciplined and probably full of trash.  If your mind is undisciplined, your actions and life are likely to be just as haphazard.

 

Become Aware of Your Thoughts

Once you have taken inventory of your thoughts you can begin to purposefully manage your thoughts.  If you do not consciously think about what you are thinking and doing, you will find your subconscious mind will automatically take over and control you.  Your subconscious mind is not designed to be in charge of you.  Left to itself, it will produce random thoughts, interpretations, emotions and results.  Your natural mind is programmed to gravitate toward negative things, outcomes, emotions etc.  You do not need that sort of input if you want to be successful.  Your subconscious mind is not designed to focus, you have to focus thoughts consciously.  Your subconscious is controlled by stimuli from your five senses and your past experiences which are stored in your brain.  It cannot think out anything new and it cannot plan.  It reacts, usually in a way to avoid pain, stress, change or growth.  Once you are aware of what you are thinking, ask yourself why you are thinking and acting that way.  Your brain will come up with the answers.  You will be shown what is causing your present results.

 

Consciously Decide What Results You are Looking For

If you are tired of getting nowhere in life, sit down and decide what you really want to achieve.  Don’t think of vague dreams like, “I would like to be rich”.  Be very specific about what would really satisfy you and give you a sense of achievement.  Allow yourself to get excited about the possibility that you could achieve your goals.   “Live” the experience of how it would feel to achieve what you dream about.  Make a point of thinking every day about it, let excitement and enthusiasm build up in your mind.  Fill in as much detail as possible in your imagination. The more detail you can supply, the more your emotions will be involved and your brain will be given more to work with.  Your brain is geared to find ways to achieve your dreams, especially when they are filled with detail and passion.

 

Consciously Choose Your Thoughts

Now begin to choose what you would need to think to bring your dream to pass.  Focus on those things, allow your mind to roll it over and look at it from every angle till it is all-consuming.  You will soon find you will be thinking about it all the time in some way.

 

Consciously Become Aware of Ideas

As your dream grows in your mind, you will become conscious of ideas your subconscious is presenting you with.  Never ignore ideas.  Your brain always looks for ways to please your mind.  This is where new inventions, changes and progress begin.  Write down any ideas that come to mind.  Analyze them and, if at all possible, put the idea into action as soon as possible.  You will be surprised how quickly things begin to fall into place for you.

 

Conclusion

The results you want, come the fastest by controlling your thoughts.  There are times when your body just does not seem to play along, you may be tired, feel stressed, scared, depressed or lazy.  In Part 3 of the series “You are Always Producing Results”, the important “body/mind” connection is discussed.  Whatever you are thinking, especially thoughts that affect your emotions, will be clearly reflected in your body. Using this knowledge, you can produce even greater focus to what you are thinking.

I am being coached by a millionaire, you can be too.

You are Always Producing Results: Part 1

Standard

Whatever you do or do not do, there are always consequences.  The same is true of what you think.  Whatever you think, or whatever thoughts you allow to enter your mind, will produce fruit in your physical life.  It does not matter what you think or do, you are always producing results.  Whatever is going on in your life right now, it is the direct result of what you have been thinking and doing.  This is a “law”, it works all the time in every situation.  Once you accept that, you can work out how to use this law to your advantage to continuously help you achieving the goals you desire.

 

What about Outside Influences Affecting Results?

What happens outside of you only affects you if you allow it to.  You have the choice to accept or reject anything.  More importantly, you have the choice of how you will interpret whatever happens to, or around you, in your own mind.  Your mind is what makes sense of things that are going on, everybody interprets things a bit differently, but it is always a personal choice.  If you have decided you are going to achieve your goals, no matter what happens, then you will interpret difficulties as mere stumbling blocks or a learning curve.  If you have no goals set, you are more likely to interpret difficulties as failure and give up trying.  Your interpretation will prove correct in both instances.

 

YOU are the Master of Your Own life

Results always come from your own actions.  They are not coming from what someone else did to you or because of your background.  Your reactions are always your choice. You can overcome the worst circumstances if you decide to.  People who have made it “against all odds” are in the minority, simply because so few people know or understand the law of results.  Henry Ford was not rich and did not have a great education.  Abraham Lincoln failed at so many stages in his life, yet he did not count those experiences as failure.  They were both spurred on to learn and try again till they succeeded.

 

Forget the “Blame Game”

Many very successful people should never have succeeded if you take their abilities and backgrounds into consideration.   These are the few who did not sit back and allow their unfortunate circumstances, or lack of natural talent or ability to create an excuse for doing nothing or living as “victims”.  What is inside you?   Who is the “real” you? Your thoughts create your personality and your degree of success.  You have the choice to decide what to believe, how to handle and how to look at circumstances.  You are always in charge, unless you back down and allow life to overwhelm you and float you aimlessly down the river of time into the sea of forgetfulness.

 

Are You Happy with the Results You See in Your Life?

When you look at your life today, are you satisfied with who you are and what you have achieved?  Very few people are ever satisfied.  There is always more to life than what you have.  Do you still have unfulfilled dreams?  If you do, then it would be very useful to have the law of results working in your favor.

 

YOU are Responsible for Your Own Results

Your thoughts always govern your actions and your outlook.  Whatever you are thinking will produce corresponding actions which, in turn, are always producing results.  You are responsible for what you are and where you are in life.   When you realize this, there is no one else you can blame, no matter how difficult your life has been or how people might have treated you.

 

 Wise Words

“Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”
Frank Outlaw

 

Conclusion

Results are always being produced in your life, even if you are unaware of them.  There are things you can do to help you produce the results you would like.  Controlling your thoughts, your moods and your actions are some of them.  Tomorrow, you will learn more about controlling your thoughts to produce the results you desire.

I am being mentored by a millionaire, are you?

My Aha Moment – The Power of Thought and Belief

Standard

This article is well worth reading. Pastor Osteen has made a big difference to many people’s outlook and thinking. I have listened to him on many occasions and can highly recommend his teaching and books.

Bluma Affirmations

As a teen, I became plagued with anxiety, depression, and many other issues that crippled me and prevented me from being happy and living the life that I truly wanted to live. Desperate to be cured of my disorders, I began searching feverishly for explanations and solutions to help me overcome my ills. I read many books and articles, each time hoping that it would provide me with the aha moment and solution to all my problems. However, nothing I read seemed to resonate with me on the level I needed it to. It wasn’t until a early 2013 that I found what I had been looking for all these years.

It all started when I watched an episode of Oprah’s Lifeclass on OWN. That particular episode, Joel Olsteen was the guest and he was speaking about his new book “I Declare”. He spoke so passionately about purpose, speaking…

View original post 673 more words